A Memorial Bench for Loren

I’ve been communicating from Ukraine with the Florida Trails Association (FTA) and its stalwart worker Howard Pardue about building a memorial bench for Loren on one of his favorite hiking trails. The bench will be in Loren’s memory from Andy and me. It will be a place to rest along a trail, to contemplate nature’s beauty, to relax and reflect. Some parks and wildlife areas have a memorial bench program as a way for donors to remember loved ones and contribute to the cause.

That’s what I hope a memorial bench will do for the Florida Trails Asssociation. It’s a new thing for them. I hope it sets a good precedent. It's been an interesting process, to develop a design and get approval for it. It's still in the pipeline awaiting final approval.

Loren was hiking on the Aucilla River with friends of the FTA when he fell to the ground and collapsed. He died doing what he loved to do, sometimes my only solace. Members of the FTA went for help, handled the details in what was for them a traumatic situation, and they have been attentive ever since. They held a memorial book signing for Loren’s autobiography, An Asperger Journey. Andy and Loren's friend Tim read passages. Many members have since told us how much the book has meant to them, and how much better they understand Loren after reading it. Howard said he felt Loren needed special attention from time to time, and now he's glad he could give it, and would have done even more if he had known the full story.

There are many ways to remember Loren. He had so many interests, so many passions. This will be one way, a place to pray and meditate in a spot on the earth that he loved.

It seems to be a human need to have a special place to go to remember, a place to put flowers, say a prayer, pour out one’s heart and one’s hopes, look for signs of a soul. After Loren was cremated and his apartment dismantled--things saved, thrown away, given away, and donated--it felt like there was nothing left. It felt so forlorn, so empty, so hopeless. There was no place to turn.

For me Loren’s memorial bench will be that place. It will be Loren's sacred place on earth, his spot, forever. I hope to visit often, but it won't matter if I go or not; I will know it's there, that Loren is there.