Goodbye, Ukraine

Me with Volodymir, Tonya, Luba and Natalia, Vera and Lyda, and collage with "Paka" party friends. including Tonya and Olga.

I’m in Washington, DC. I found out while on vacation in Prague that Peace Corps wanted to send me to Washington right away for more medical tests on some breast issues that came up on my Ukrainian mammogram. When I got to Slavsky in the beautiful Carpathian mountains for my Close of Service conference, I was confronted with the option of going directly to Kyiv to fly to the US, or leaving the conference after one day to return to Starobelsk to pack and say goodbye.

I am so close to the end of my Peace Corps service that the possibility of returning is slim. I pleaded with PC medical staff to let me stay for two more months, to no avail. I said a hasty goodbye to my PCV friends in group 36, the best group of volunteers ever, and took the 23-hour train across the country from the far west to the far east and then the 6-hour bus ride from Khargiv to Starobelsk to pack it up and say goodbye to friends. I was in a state of shock, I think, processing this fast turnaround, and I made the trip with a heavy heart.

So this is how I spent the past weekend in Starobelsk, my last days in Ukraine. It was a whirlwind of activity in a reluctant frame of mind. I went to the Library to say goodbye to my librarian friends and English Club members and later had a "Paka" Party at Natalia’s for some of my closest friends. We had a wonderful and moving last supper with Luba, my first host mom on Panfelova; Olga and Tonya, my fellow travelers and constant helpmates; Asya and Sasha, who helped me grieve for Loren and spread gentle good will; Lyda and Volodymir and of course the lovely Natalia who made me welcome in my second apartment on Kyrova. These were the people who took in a stranger and shared all they had. They made me a part of their families, their community, their lives. How blessed I am.

I received many special toasts. It was hard to hold back the tears in the face of so many compliments, the sharing of so many great memories. I got some lovely presents, but best of all were the heartfelt good wishes. I have never felt so embraced, so comforted, so complimented.

The only dear friend who was not at the dinner was Natalia the university English teacher, my tutor, my interpretor, my closest confidante, without whom I could not have accomplished as much as I did. Instead she and her husband Vasyl, and their sons Artur and Artyom, offered to drive me to Lugansk to catch the train to Kyiv. It spared me a lonely bus ride, and it was a time for Natalia and me to reminisce and share. She said she didn’t come to the dinner because she was too sad at my leaving. I changed her life, she said. I taught her to follow her dreams. I changed Starobelsk, and everyone I crossed paths with. I made her community richer and the lives of the people more hopeful. I made her more hopeful, she said. She wants one day to come to America on a temporary Visa to work and live for a while, to have a new adventure, “like you, Fran. I want to be like you.” Good god, what did I ever do to deserve such kindess and generosity of spirit?

So this is part of the Peace Corps experience too. Beginnings and endings. My beloved brother Loren used to remind me that ‘there are no ends in nature, only beginnings.” I hope so. Still, it was hard to say good bye, paka, dosvedanya dear friends, dear Starobelsk, dear Ukraine. I received so much more than I could ever give. I will always remember. Я всегда буду помнить.